My Darkest Days:

      Have you ever thought about situations in your head and knew what you'd do if it ever happened? Well I have and it wasn't what i expected and I live with it everyday. The day it all started... On July 25th, 2018 I was hanging out with a friend and was texting Aleiyah she needed to get out of that terrible situation. I left and went and picked her up. On July 26th, we were just about to leave my house when we heard banging on the doors, windows etc, so I went to go look and see who it was. It ended up being Jessica Grant (Armour) her birth giver and Shane Armour her birth givers now husband. I didn't want to deal with it so I had called the cops.  They showed up and of course stated Aleiyah should go over and talk it out. So around Noon that day Aleiyah and I had went out to eat and she said she was just gonna go talk for a little then will text me when to pick her up... While sitting there eating my stomach was not feeling right. My adrenaline was way up there. I had dropped her off around 1. around 2pm she said to come back and get her. As i pull up she was waiting by the side of the road and went to put her stuff into the back of my car, but wasn't able to get in. Jessica had her so called sperm donor physically remove her from the car as if she was a criminal trying to get away from the cops... My body wanted to do something but my mind physically froze up... I sat there and watched her get dragged away from my vehicle, like she had just ran from the police and got caught. I had left not knowing what to do. I was in shock, frozen, emotional, thoughtless. Today on June 9th, 2021 I had woke up late for work and on my way to work all the images kept playing over and over again like a broken recorder. I cried half way to work begging god to help me get everything out of my head. It isn't easy remembering you failed the one you love. Let her get dragged away and not doing anything about it. I have dreams multiple times a week of everything that's happened and even flash backs while working. Sometimes I can't even do my job i get so sick to my stomach, pale face and my adrenaline and blood pressure skyrocketing. I hide everything from everyone and one day I broke down crying to my boss. Every time I see a similar vehicle I just sit there and watch getting ready if I do need to do something to protect myself etc. People don't understand how bad mental health is and joke about it like I used to. The one's hiding it are the one's like me who don't like talking about it to others. It isn't fun not having energy to do anything and or not want to do anything at all and stay secluded from others. So please check your friends etc. Reach out to them, if you know something is wrong get them help. Just simply talking to someone you know can make a big difference.